SHACKLES ARE FOREVER

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Handcuffs in black and white diamonds by de Grisogono

Soon, I will meet him—my love. At long last,
it is true. And I just know he will be real
tall and rangy, with sandy-fine hair
receding above his charming crinkles—his laugh
lines edging candid blue eyes. He is enchanting,
my magician, turning his ordained tricks
of fate so we can be what we want
to be and not agonize anymore. Just be
we. He will have strong hands, even stronger
heart. And that will be enough. No more
immoral dishonesty, games. Only intimate
tête-à-têtes. And laughter. So much
laughter. That will be the secret to our fairytale
story—instantaneous it will be, this love
of ours, a love like never before. We will know
the moment we lay eyes on each other. So cliché,
I agree, but we won’t ever have a doubt. Even
when life creeps up behind, grabbing, tapping,
its crooked finger on our fine shoulders,
Ratta tap tap tap…
reminding us of our past. But it won’t
matter. We will be stronger than the past. We will
shine our light onto the world, glorious golden beams
like the sun, keeping us warm during the bitter
dark nights. And they will come. Oh they will. Testing
our strings, tugging incessantly to see what it will take
to break them. But they won’t. Our strings
are indestructible steel. Our strings are like that
of mother and child, only different, in a serene
sort of way. Never again will we be alone or strung
out on the hanging block, waiting for survival, waiting
as the crowd gapes, obsessed by the torrid scene,
the torture. No, never again. For he will be my shield
and I his, and we won’t ever be captured by the forces
of foes who claim loyalty. We will delight in the freedom
of our own shackles. Cuffs we chose to encase on
each other—diamond studded shackles, without a key.

My Mother’s Day Gift… A poem written by my 14 year old son:

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What I Don’t Know

There are a lot of things
about my mama
I don’t know.

I don’t know
how she never misses a meal.
I don’t know
how she never misses our ball games.
I don’t know
how she supports us
and nurtures us.
I don’t know
how she does what she does
and keeps on doin’ it.

There are a lot of things
about my mama
I don’t know.

But
one thing I do know
is
I don’t want her
to
ever
go away.

Happy Mother’s Day Mom. I Love You.

The Very Inspiring Blogger Award!!

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This past week, I was truly honored to be nominated for The Very Inspiring Blogger Award by Emily Anne, an incredibly gifted writer/poet. Check out her fabulous blog: Unkilled Darlings

Thank you Emily Anne!

So, in keeping with the award rules, here are

Seven Fun Facts About Me:

1. I attended college for the first time in my life at age 42, aspiring to eventually become a lawyer. I fell in love with writing instead.

2. Before I fall asleep at night, I try to name off at least ten things I am grateful for from my day. I’m rarely able to stop at just ten.

3. I recently got my first tattoo. I’m considering a second.

4. The only place I’m truly happy is at the beach. No, that’s not true…it’s when I’m writing. So, my perfect day would be writing, at the beach. Better yet, living on the beach, writing.

5. Lately, I’ve become addicted to eating avocados.

6. I decided to try life without Facebook for one month. That was nine months ago.

7. I believe I’ve lived many previous lives, one during Egyptian times.

Seven Blogs I Nominate:

(And this was tough as there are so many more I would love to nominate!)

Boob is just Bob without an “O”
Fun Girls Live Better

Speaking from the Heart
Amy Keast
Living In the Now
Bohemiaspeaks
Love Art and Fear

Dream Post – 4/27/2013

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2010-10-03-10-57-45_850a7c1a-c64a-475c-a4fe-094c41e69332_large-profile

I had finally fallen in love again. He was an intoxicating combination of two prior past loves, only taller, and not quite as handsome. And a bit shy, which typically is not my type. But he loved me with all he had, without reservation or condition. And surprisingly, I loved him just the same, if not more, if that was possible. It consumed my entire being, this incredibly crazy, powerful love for this man, from the depths of my soul to the tips of fingers.

He was a yoga instructor, but when he tried to guide me into pose, I was overcome by incredible awkwardness. Again and again, I attempted to imitate his movements. “I give up!” I said finally, frustrated and insecure, terrified he would no longer love me. But he offered me the kindest, most sincere smile, and a profound sense of relief washed over me.

“You are in amazing shape, Deb, in both body and spirit.” He said, proud. “And will be even more so, once you practice more.”

I was so encouraged by his praise that this time, when his gentle hands guided my limbs, my body easily molded into pose. And suddenly, everything snapped into place, physically, spiritually, emotionally; we were entity of pure perfection. It was extraordinary this sensation, this powerful connection between the two of us and the Universe. A simultaneous enlightenment.

Later that evening we attended a party. I was so excited to show him off to my friends, yet at the same time only wanted him for myself. As we walked in, I glanced around–all the other men appeared overweight and sad, as if their entire essence had wilted.

Out of the blue, a long-lost aunt approached me. “I’m writing a book,” she exclaimed. “And it’s going to be published in two days.” Two days! How could that be, I thought. For I had not yet completed my novel, was struggling with it actually.

“How long did it take you to write it?” I asked, envy feeding my curiosity.

“Why, I haven’t finished it yet, I’ve only written six pages.”

“Six pages? How can you complete a book in two days, when you’ve barely started?” I asked, astonished.

“It’s easy,” she said, and began to read to me her work. My envy immediately dissipated. I offered a few suggestions, excuses really, to escape her presence; for I sensed a ticking time-bomb, and she was ready to explode.

But she surprised me and said, “Why, thank you, Deb. I’m honored to receive advice from such a talented writer like yourself. When is your book coming out?”

At that moment, I felt the gentle touch of my new lover on my arm. “Yes, babe,” he said, standing by my side gazing down on me. “When is your book coming out?”

“I’m working on it,” I announced. “And officially, am giving myself six months to complete it.”

He nodded as if he knew. As if he already knew just how great it would be.

The Prophecy – Dream Post 4/5/2013

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nuclear_armageddon

I was awoken by the phone, ringing in the dead of night. It was that time of night, deep into the night, when you know it could only be the delivery of bad news. A prophecy, a voice inside me said, a foretelling of impending doom.

Because it was my brother who was calling, (which in itself is something that probably would only happen in an emergency. Or in a dream). Panic seized my gut when I heard his voice. Because this wasn’t my brother’s voice at all. It was a shrieking voice, high and thin, like that of a terrified child. Or a truly desperate soul. It hurt my ear. And he was speaking so very fast and strange, as if in a foreign tongue. I couldn’t understand him. Could barely decipher his garbled message when he finally said, “Take the boys and get to Europe as fast as you can, Deb! The world is coming to an end and that is the only safe place for us. But go by boat. Do not fly! Do you hear me??! Do not fly!!”

So there I was, at two o’clock in the morning, listening to my brother, who I speak to twice a year at most, rant on and on about specific secret details of our mission. Of escaping Armageddon! So, I did what came first to mind; I feigned sisterly support, and listened to him rant on and on—he must be drunk! And then, nothing. The phone went dead. My God, he’s gone crazy!

But deep in my gut I knew he was right, knew it was only a matter of time. For our world had recently started to show the signs. Signs that most of us scoffed at, because really, how else could we make sense of it all. No one wanted to face it. Face the fact that life as we knew it was changing, and fast.

Constantly throughout the day, cell phone connections were lost, electricity flickered on and off, and endless brown-outs and black-outs were now the norm. Across the world, the internet would shut down for hours at a time, for no reason at all. Some made changes to avoid the obvious. To avoid panic. Land-lined telephones were bought up in stores like lightning speed. Some regressed, communicating only by handwritten letters, no longer trusting emails. For electronic communication was left entirely sporadic. The height of our technology world had hit its ceiling, as if a septic static had spread across the planet.

But we were all in denial. Because every day, we were promised it would soon be contained. We were promised it would be exonerated. “No need to worry folks, just a glitch in our magnetic field, a crazy innovative virus, which we WILL get under control immediately. WE have your backs. You have OUR word.” And each day, everyone ran around like ants when the sirens shrilled, running home to their televisions, or battery-operated old radios, just to hear the latest update. To hear the latest pledge, that our planet would be safe. That our lives would resume to normal.

But I knew the sun would soon turn black. And all that would be left were its smoldering embers, ashes in wake of pain and destruction, dooming us all to its hell.

But not me—for I was one of the chosen few. The few who knew the beginning of the end had finally arrived.

Within seconds I made a choice, believing in my brother and also in my inner voice. For it had predicted this prophecy to me years ago, but I had refused to listen. I hadn’t wanted to believe.

So, I gathered my sons and as many mementos and belongings as I could, and we somehow made our way to the shore where the ships lay waiting. Just for us—the chosen ones. I had a contact in Europe, don’t ask me who, and he had assured me we could stay with him, safely, until it all ended. Until we would need to start over, and begin rebuilding again.

And as they smuggled us on board, a memory came to me of a time, decades ago, in another life, when desperate souls would board boats to come to our world, with only pennies in their pockets, and hope in their hearts.

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